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Adam Rex has penned what has to be considered one of funniest of the books about vampires. He has taken the entire “Twilight” myth about teenage vampires being romantic and exploded it to pieces. The book is subtitled “A Never Coming of Age Story,” and here’s why. Doug Lee is a fat, doughy, short, 15-year-old who was attacked by a desperate vampire and now he must remain this way forever. He cannot find a goth girl who will have anything to do with him so at night he resorts to drinking the blood of cows. It is not the same. He sneaks into the zoo one night looking for an animal that he would consider sexy enough to bite. However, he is discovered and turns into a bat
to flee. The problem is school starts the next day and he has no idea how to regain his human form or recover the pile of clothes left in the zoo when he became a flying rodent.
If life was not bad enough, Lee has to wear a rain poncho to school to protect him from the sun. A foreign exchange student from India has caught the young vampire’s eye, but she just wants to be friends. The cherry on top of his sundae of misery is being spotted by a reality television show titled “Vampire Hunters” and they are trying to catch him to save their ratings. This satirical tale should have the reader laughing to the last pages.
“Fat Vampire” is available in the young adult section of the Pahrump Community Library.